June 16, 2024

I’m not sad anymore, and I have nothing to talk about.

Sadness is an amazing source of inspiration, hopefully it doesn’t last forever.

In almost the year I’ve been writing this blog, I can tell I’ve changed as a person in some ways.

In the beginning I had so many ideas and topics bouncing around my head it was easy to write about whatever happened to be on my mind that week.

Most of the time it was some sort of insecurity I was working through, a theory I was putting together, or even just an epiphany I had realized on how to make sense of life.

People back then would often tell me it was somewhat depressing, sad, but also very interesting.

It was somewhat of a troubling time for my mental state back then, with so many things I needed to figure out and work out on my own, I decided to write about those things as I figured them out in public.

But these days, I’m pretty happy with my life all things considered.

Nothing externally has really changed massively.

I still live in the same place, know the same people, doing the same things.

But overall, what has changed the most is my perspective.

I decided at the beginning of the year I would place less value on getting a full time job (for better or for worse), instead I’m probably better off freelancing and making a living that way.

Having a full time job is probably the most practical position to be in, with benefits, a nice salary, job security, blah blah blah.

But freelancing has given me the freedom and responsibility that makes my life so much more rewarding compared to riding the ebbs and flows of hoping the job market accepts me one day.

I’ve come to accept my position in life and just because it’s not living up to my unachievable standards I have for myself, doesn’t mean I’m a failure.

And who is to say these standards I have on myself are even mine to begin with? Where did these ideas of success come from? Why do people want me to care about these things so much?

I’m so much happier making less money working for myself than clocking into a job I hate everyday for more money.

And no longer am I constantly monitoring my level of happiness day in and day out, which would make me question myself constantly.

I have a lot of shit going on these days, and frankly just don’t have the time or energy to be worrying about the things I can’t control anymore.

I’m content with my life as it’s constructed, which is something my past self 3-4 years ago would be proud to hear.

I’m not rich, have a big ass house, adored by strangers, or drive an expensive car, but what gives me enough fulfillment now is spending time with my loved ones and working on my career on my own terms.

I don’t have it all figured out, but what I’ve realized at this point is that I probably never will. And that’s the beauty in life. Everyday you have the opportunity to learn something new that changes your life for the better.

I’ve realized that I’ve felt so much more satisfaction by actively ignoring most of the conventional wisdom given to me by those who claim to “want the best for me.”

I’m not saying they don’t, but I am saying that it seems like some were attempting to force me into a path that was “safe and secure.” And the thing is, I listened whole heartedly. I tried to do all of the things they wanted of me, trying to make them proud.

But it never worked out. Maybe their advice was bullshit, maybe it’s subconsciously what they wish they could have done instead so they want me to do it, maybe I was never committed to their advice enough to make it actually work, or maybe a combination of all three.

But either way, once I stopped listening to advice that did not serve me, I never felt happier.

Advice is a form of nostalgia.

People often give advice based upon their own life experiences.

Not all advice is good advice, especially if it’s coming from someone who doesn’t want the same things as you. Life experiences between people vary so much and they want different things, you ultimately have to know yourself on a level to where you can filter out what is good and bad advice based on your own situation.

Otherwise you will just be running around following everyone’s idea of success.

Now that I’m not sad anymore, I do find that it has become significantly more difficult to write as often as I used to. I simply don’t have the urge to air out my grievances on a weekly basis as much.

When you feel like shit, I guess your first instinct is to go around telling everyone about it, because it makes you feel better.

Misery loves company.

Maybe that’s why the internet is filled with so many pissed off and depressed people, because that’s the only thing they can do to make their lives feel a little bit better.

The main areas of friction in my life right now are more business related and on the side of trying to land more clients, manage the ones I already have, and strategies on how to grow a business. Maybe not as interesting as other topics, but if people would like to hear more about that, then let me know.

I don’t know what the overall message of this blog is, I just wanted to get on and document that I’m happy and content with life at the moment.

If you’re reading this and you’re not happy about your life, you should probably figure out why. Or at the very least try and change your perspective on it and realize there can be positives to every situation.

There is always something you can do.

Maybe it is getting a stable job to pay the bills, starting a businesses, making more friends, or even picking up a recreational activity.

Whatever works for you.

Happy Fathers Day everyone, go give your Dad a hug.

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