November 5, 2023

Life as of late.

I’d like to apologize to my fans for the severe lack of blog posts recently (all of five of you). 

I’ve been a little busy living some life these past few months and I’ve been caught up in tons of things. Unfortunately I pushed writing blog posts to the bottom of my to do list.

To be honest though, I actually have been feeling a bit uninspired with writing lately, mostly due to having been out of town quite often and when I am actually home I feel the need to rest and catch up on all the things I had to put off while I was away. 

But I’m back home now, hopefully for a while. The only thing I’m leaving the house for is to go to the gym or on a hot date (hey now).

I actually tried writing this thing like four times already, but all of them just didn’t feel good to me so here I am on attempt number five. And I’m just going to keep it simple. Here’s a recap of the past six weeks of my life and some things I learned along the way. 

I went to a music festival. 

At the end of September I went to Portola. A music festival held at Pier 80 in San Francisco. The lineup is a mix of quirky and niche electronic music artists, with a mix of some hip hop and alternative music sprinkled in there as well. It seemed like a perfect festival for me, because I liked a lot of the artists they had on the lineup, especially plenty of lesser known artists.

Not to mention the venue was located in a huge old crane unloading dock. Where all the stages were located underneath giant cranes, next retired battleships, and inside giant warehouses. 

But I have to say, Day 1 was more or less a shit show. In the midst of all of the excitement and anticipation, I had mistakenly taken way too many mushrooms and I proceeded to have a pretty intense trip right at the beginning of the day when we walked in at around 2pm. 

In the middle of our first set I ended up walking away because everything was so overwhelming to me at the time. Watching the walls melt from inside of a porta potty will be an image that is unfortunately burned into my brain for a long time.

Throughout the rest of the day, I couldn’t help but notice so many things about the event that just rubbed me the wrong way. 

For one, the people there looked so incredibly weird everywhere I turned. I would look around constantly and feel like I’m seeing a build of a person that I’ve never even conceived could exist before. I’m telling you it was way more off putting than it sounds. 

The attendees were also super rude at times and not very considerate compared to other festivals I’ve been to. Constant pushing and shoving and dirty looks coming at me whenever I would try to do anything in a crowd like get out or just walk around. 

And finally, it was just not a fun area to walk around at and be on drugs. Just metal and gray and asphalt everywhere did not make it the most aesthetically pleasing of venues. Nothing compared to sunny Coachella or green and lucious Outside Lands.

Day 2 however was so much better. Maybe because I thankfully didn’t do drugs that day because I was so traumatized. It was so much better, like I wish I didn’t even go the first day. That's how much better it was. 

After all of that is said and done, I realized, hey maybe I’m getting a little too old to be doing this. Maybe I need to find other things to do to have fun, or at the very least change how I go about enjoying these things. Because this was simply not it.

Maybe one day instead of two, or maybe less drugs. Either way, the first day was terrible, the second day was pretty good.

My favorite artists over the weekend were Polo & Pan and Skrillex.

I went to my first tech conference.

Not only 24 hours after this shit show of a festival would pass until I had to drive into San Francisco to attend my first ever tech conference. Since I work for a startup, it was a conference specifically for a big accelerator program that my company had recently graduated out of so I guess it was a pretty big deal.

I had never actually been to any tech conference before, but I was invited by my company to attend so we could all meet up and hang out together for the first time.

I’ve known these guys for over a year, but have never actually met them in person since they’re based out of Toronto, Canada. So I was definitely excited and a bit nervous because I didn’t know what exactly to expect. 

I will admit, having to shift gears from party festival mode and go directly into corporate handshaking mode spiked my anxiety because I feel like my brain could adjust fast enough. But after the first day, I got over it relatively quickly.

All of my coworkers were all pretty cool. Turns out they’re just regular guys like me and we joked around and talked shit the whole week. I’m glad I had the opportunity to come out and meet them.

But for the conference as a whole, I could honestly do without.

After a week hanging out with people in tech, I’m maybe thinking they’re just not my type of people. Many of them just seemed a bit entitled and standoffish. But on the other end, some seemed to be super cool and open to talking and just hanging out. 

The keynote speaking events seemed to be odd to me also. I’ve attended my fair share of keynote speaking events, mainly from my last job, so I understood how they typically went. But a lot of what I heard from these people was general back patting of their own accomplishments and using vague language and buzz words to make themselves sound intelligent and impressive.

I don’t know, it seemed a bit self indulgent and braggadocious from my point of view. 

I guess from this I learned, a large amount of people in tech I met this week seem to be just not my type of people. Aside from the people in my company, nobody seemed to be interested in having a conversation with me unless I could offer something for them or their company. 

Overall everyone seemed very cliquey and surface level, like I wasn't meeting real people but NPC’s dressed as people.

I went to Mexico with my family. 

Not only a week later I found myself on a flight to Mexico with my grandparents and my aunt (yeah it’s been a busy month, I’m exhausted). 

We had been planning this trip for months and it had finally come time to go. 

To a degree, I was unexcited for this trip, since I had been doing so much the previous weeks and now I had to fly to a different country for a week with my family who always find a way to pry into my business more than I’d like them to.

But it turns out, I actually had a great time.

We did hella shit like visit the Mayan pyramids, traveled by boat to nearby islands, sat on the beach (Gulf of Mexico has the best beaches), and just got to spend some quality time with my family who I don’t see as much as I used to. It was also my grandpa’s 80th birthday so we were mainly there to celebrate that.

I learned to really appreciate that part of my family, more than I already do, because at the end of the day, we all care about each other and just want to see each other be happy and successful. And they’re actually not that bad to hang out with. 

As my grandparents grow older, I realize it means the world to them when I take some time to hang out with them. So who am I to deny them that? If just being around brings them joy, then I can most certainly do that. Even though sometimes they attack me and my life, it is what it is.

I also had the opportunity to spend plenty of time with my aunt this trip because we shared a room. It was nice to spend so much time with her because she’s like a second mom to me of some sorts, except I can tell her more of my personal secrets without getting as much backlash as if I was telling my actual mom.

All in all, I love my family. Even though they get on my last nerve sometimes, I guess that’s what family is for anyways. 

Present day.

It’s been a hectic past handful of weeks and I’m finally happy to be home with no big plans in the near future. I certainly get bored if I’m home for too long, but I think that’s going to be the next thing I work on. 

Learning to be still and content even when I’m not doing anything. There’s nothing wrong with staying home and just living a relaxing lifestyle where I can find a routine to do things like work or spend time with family.

Although, I feel like I’m in some sort of funk these past two weeks. Even though I’m doing things, it feels like whenever I’m home I instantly fall into some sort of rut where everyday feels the same and I’m trapped inside some version of hell where I have to live the same day.

Naturally I start to get a little stir crazy.

Things that would normally bring me joy like watching movies or listening to music just don’t really hit the same. I’ve even gone so far as to purposefully not watch/listen to anything in the background because I feel like I’m being overstimulated by everything.

I’m not sure if I just need to learn to be still or I need to move out. Probably both, but at this point I’m in no position to do that if I keep going on vacation and spending money.

But I got my snowboarding season pass in the mail this week, so at least I’ll have that to keep me going for the winter season.

What I Watched This Week:

A Cool Youtube Video:

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