December 10, 2023

Why you don't want an easy life.

Sometimes life is hard. It has a way of kicking you in the nuts and leaving you wondering why does this even have to happen.

And my delusional brain has been trying to rationalize what it means to have difficulties in life and see the value in it, if there is any.

Sometimes when I find myself frustrated and upset that things aren’t really going my way, I tend to think to myself:

Why can’t this just be easy?

Life would be so much better if I could just get exactly what I wanted. Then I would finally be happy.

But lately I’ve been thinking, what if I have it all wrong?

Struggle builds character.

Some of my favorite videos on Youtube are interviews with successful individuals like startup CEO’s and those at the top of their fields. I find people who are successful in their specific industries to be so interesting because they tend to have some of the most interesting perspectives on life.

I notice one common theme I always hear in these interviews is they almost always go through some level of financial, personal, mental, or health related struggles.

It’s almost as if this incredible and uncomfortable friction is a prerequisite to achieving anything impressive.

The most successful and interesting people in the world are those who have overcome the most shit in their lives because they were forced to do so, or else they wouldn’t have gotten anywhere.

It’s as if their success and their quality of life were directly related to the extent of their struggle.

Struggle equals happiness.

The same goes for happiness. Rarely it seems people are just born happy. The majority of us have to make an effort to create a life that lends itself to happiness, otherwise we are victim to whatever surroundings we fall into.

The shitty times in life serve as a bittersweet comparison to the better parts of life. If we never were unhappy or unsatisfied, then how would we even know when we are actually happy if we have nothing to compare it to?

People naturally chase goals of status and money, thinking it is going to make them happy, because that’s what society looks at when evaluating your value as a person. But it just seems like chasing this actually makes them miserable.

So if even rich and successful people aren’t happy, then maybe we have it all wrong.

We are wired to be unhappy.

Consider rich kids. I’m talking the kids who are born into the upper class, and their parents are the owners of some hedge fund or billion dollar business. They hit the genetic lottery, and all of the things they will ever want or need in their lives will be provided to them with no hesitation.

The only problem is, they seem to grow up with a skewed perspective of the world, where they never really had to work that hard to get far in life. They always had the money, the network, and even the resources to do whatever they wanted, probably facing less obstacles than someone who came from poverty would have to face.

And the craziest part is, it seems like they aren't happy. You would think someone who has all of their monetary needs met would automatically be living the best life you could imagine. But maybe they’re actually miserable?

All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today.

- Pope Paul VI

I think it goes back to our caveman human nature. You had to be constantly looking for better situations so you and your tribe could survive. The survival instinct explains why we are constantly unsatisfied and believe we can always do better.

It’s instilled in our nature, and since we’re still walking around with the same monkey brains we had thousands of years ago, trying to make sense of a world that’s as comfortable as it’s ever been is confusing as hell.

We are hard wired to always be uncomfortable and look for improvement, because that’s literally how we survived.

Struggle makes you a better person.

To overcome great obstacles defines you and determines how strong you will be moving forward.

As they say, pressure creates diamonds.

So while I say I might want an easy life, I actually probably don’t.

The more shit you go through, the more you learn from each experience, and the better you will be for the next time. And rinse and repeat. The more obstacles you face in your life, basically the better you get at doing life.

It’s almost like the best course of action is to try and fail as often and hard as possible first, so you can learn and improve on those things faster than other people who are actively avoiding those uncomfortable feelings of failure.

You just have to dive in and not give any fucks.

At its core, that’s really what life is.

Just running around doing things, failing, doing them again, succeeding, and rinse and repeat for about 90 years or so. And then you die. Hopefully what you spent all your time doing was meaningful to you or someone else.

That’s a crude oversimplification about life, but it’s kind of beautiful. To me, it makes me understand that a life without its shitty moments isn’t really a meaningful life at all.

So instead of groaning at your own problems, maybe you should thank them.

Thank them for giving you an opportunity to become a better and stronger person. It’s a new chance to level up your character in the video game of your life.

Song of the Week:
What I Watched This Week:

A Cool Youtube Video:

Support the newsletter

If you enjoy this content or find this helpful, here's how you can support it:

  • Share it to a friend and invite them to subscribe to the newsletter :)

  • I plan on keeping this newsletter free, but if you want to support, the best way is to buy me a coffee

Join the Dloveandfriends Newsletter

Sign up to get notified every time I post a new blog.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.